When Mama Goes Missing, And Why Pocket Watches Are Cool

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Recently, I have had way too many posts about being absent from my blog. Dude…here’s another one! That’s me in the picture above…kidding, but I wish I owned a pocket watch. I think they should bring pocket watches back. For heaven’s sake, they’ve brought back the styles of the 70′s! I think I’ll pass on the acid washed jeans with white hearts that I saw hanging on the clothing rack at Target today. Seriously…has the fashion industry run out of ideas so we’re just resorting to “recycling” styles from the past? I wonder if they’ll bring back powdered wigs…

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I did buy this t-shirt at Target yesterday. EPIC. It is one of my favorite movies EVER. I may be old school, but so are they. Point made.

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Life has swallowed me. Not in a bad way, but time is not usually a friend of mine theses days. It seems just like yesterday that I was decorating the Christmas tree. Now I’m marking my calendar to remember to “spring forward” for daylight savings time this weekend. Boo! I hate messing with the clock. It’s pointless. That’s my opinion. I also think grilled salmon tastes like boiled newspaper…

I have been incredibly busy finishing up the final touches of my latest manuscript. There are so many hoops to jump through, people to please, red pens to use, to ever bring a novel to fruition.

I’m still working on trying to catch the eye of a literary agent. I need it. Want it. See it. Taste it.

Recently I had a dream that my goal to see my book sitting on the shelf of my local book store came true. Mind you, Sheldon Cooper and Mary Tyler Moore were cashiers at the book store. I wish…

I have a deadline to meet. A deadline that could potentially alter my current lifestyle. I LOVE my life. I feel blessed to do what I do, know who I know, and interact with who I interact with. Talking with an author friend of mine recently, there are some deep, reflecting occurances that have been handed to both of us. When your current situation leads you to questioning whether or not you are doing what you feel like you’ve been called to do, it is more than reassuring when instances arise prompting you forth. In comparison, we are both right where we belong. This may seem like a jumbled bit of nonsense to all of you, but it was an eye opener for me.

I am right where I belong.

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The blessed countdown has begun! In less than two months our family will be taking a much needed vacation

Homeschooling perk #822 – We vacation when the rest of mankind doesn’t. LOVE.

Nine days of uninterrupted bliss. Me. My husband. My three boys. At an undisclosed location somewhere spectacular. A place that drives me to close my eyes, imagine myself there, pen in hand as I write while spending a memorable time with those that I love more than life itself. Our destination won’t remain a secret forever. I will share with the world where we are headed once we get there. I. CAN’T. WAIT.

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P.S. I just finished watching season 3 of Downton Abbey. This has been my guilty pleasure for the last several months. I got on the Downton train, waaayyy later then the rest of the public. But, I am so glad I climbed on!

I won’t spoil it for my fellow friends who have yet to finish this amazing series, but…

SERIOUSLY? I mean, really? Why in the world would they end it the way they did? I was honestly mad for the rest of the afternoon after finishing the finale. Good gravy Masterpiece Theatre, I am appalled! That is all.

Crazy For Downton & Pocket Watches ~

VSK

Money Counters and Morons With Blue Hair

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The holidays are such a glorious season of wonder, aren’t they? They are also the time of year where your patience is tested, and crazy people seem to seep into the “10 items or less” grocery store line in front of you with 35 items. I am a tolerable and very patient person, but sometimes I just want to stroke a person’s hand and say…

Oh Sweetie…do you ever think your thoughts through before opening your mouth, because you should’ve just stayed home today…in a beanbag chair eating chili cheese Fritos with Lil’ Muscle your toy Poodle.

So Christmas was EPIC…glad it’s over. New Year’s Eve…full of excitement!

My handsome hubby and I were kid-free on New Year’s (silent fist pump), so we decided to roam the aisles of Target before dinner. When you roam the aisles with kids, it isn’t “roaming”. It’s more like chasing rats.

Don’t touch that! – No, I’m not buying you ANYTHING. We came here for shampoo, not Pokemon cards. – Your legs are not broken…keep walking or I’ll give you a reason to run. – Watch where you’re walking! There are other people in this store, ya know. Spinning down the aisle usually results in getting run over. Now you know…

So hot hubby and I roamed the aisles. Like, took our time and looked at things. If you are a parent, you understand…

Standing in the checkout line, there was a guy in front of us wearing a Cookie Monster tee that said “Eat Me”. First clue, this was not going to go well…

He had Red Bull and batteries…not going there…

As he checks out, he asks the cashier and I the following, jaw dropping question:

Where can I buy temporary blue hair color? I want to dye my hair before I party tonight.

Oh really? In the words of my husband AFTER I KINDLY directed him to Sally’s Beauty Supply down the street…

I hope he’s not planning on trying to pick up a chick tonight. The only “chick” he’s going to see is a bucket of KFC at 1 in the morning after he leaves the bar ALONE.

Now if he would’ve looked like this, perhaps he MIGHT have had a chance at an incredible New Year’s Eve.

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Fast forward to today…

My children saved their hard earned $$$ for a MacBook. Low and behold, two of my three saved up half for a brand spankin’ new one. If you know MacBooks, you know they aren’t cheap. We agreed to make up the difference, and buy them a MacBook for Christmas. Hubby and I are so proud of them for working so hard the past nine months!

Anyhow, the cash they have were in bills and about a million and one quarters. So, off to the bank we went this morning to deposit their half of the money. We stand in line, wait a while, and then finally make our way to the teller.

Me: “I need to deposit this cash into our checking account, please.”

Teller: “Oh, we don’t accept loose change.”

Me: “But, this is money…and we are at a bank, right?”

Teller: Laughing while probably thinking dirty thoughts about me, “Well yes, but we don’t have a change machine counter here. I can either give you paper sleeves to go home and roll your coins, or we can send your change off to a company to count it for you at no cost.”

Me: Giggling, “You serious? Can you at least deposit the bills or do you not have a bill counter either?”

Teller: “No, we don’t have a bill counter either, but I can hand count them for you Mrs. King, that’s not a problem.”

OMGosh, are you kidding me? Even Kroger has a change machine! Good gravy, what’s next? Is the bank going to tell me that if I want to get money out of the ATM I have to talk to the ATM elf first? I bet elves are secretly working in the back of the bank counting loose change.

Hey Jingle the Elf, you’ve got 364 days until Christmas, so hop to the money counting dude! Santa’s not expecting you back at the North Pole for a while. Right now, you’re my money mogul…start shuffling bills.

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I bet the guy with blue hair works at the bank. He probably oversees the elves in the back…

Welcome to 2013!

VSK

P.S. I don’t make resolutions, I make goals. This year, I will find a publisher. Mark my words, supportive, awesome peeps! I love all of you! I write because you encourage me to, and that is more than I could ever ask for.

‘Twas The Night Before New York

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‘Twas the night before New York and all through our home, all the kids and adults were excited and ready to go!

We packed all our bags and got all the kids on a plane, flying three hours with no whining or a single complaint.

Once we arrived we pulled our bags to a big black van, it looked like it transported an entire mafia clan.

With our eyes filled with wonder we watched the New York skyline grow, as we muddled through traffic that was terribly slow.

As we arrived we were told, “You were arriving today? I thought your arrival date was still another week away?”

Uh no, dear sweet apartment owner our clan of seven is here, you better clean this darn place or me you shall fear!

So we left our bags behind as the maid went to work, cleaning up the mess of the previous family that must have been raising a clan of spoiled rotten twerps.

We went and ate at a hole in the wall eatery filled with angry New Yorkers, that spat profanities because the clerk didn’t want to be paid with a bag full of quarters.

As I covered my youngest one’s ears from the s-nannigans and f-bombs that spewed like a cork, I thought to myself, “Yep, this is New York!”

Then the real fun began when the mice joined our family, running wild through our apartment for the mounds of candy…that had been left behind by the previous twerps, that I wish I could give a talking to about respect and that cleaning up after yourself really does work!

Eleven mice have been hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that the so-called maid soon would be there. (She hasn’t been…moving on…)

We’ve also experienced a broken TV, a DVD player that doesn’t work either, and a hairdryer that caught fire, yes the trip has been fun, but the apartment is like a plot from a bad movie starring McGyver.

The best parts of the trip have been the visit to Macy’s to see Santa, the carriage ride through Central Park, coffee in Times Square…it has been totally amazing to spend the holidays here!

So off I must go, there are more things to do, the electric mouse trap just went off again…I can smell him cooking in the other room… <—- Totally serious, it just happened!!!

Good night from NYC ~

VSK (the epic mouse catcher)

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