Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

A Love Letter To My Credit Card Thief

Dear Moron, Jerk, Scumbag, Sir ~

I’m sorry if your life is terrible. So terrible that you feel like stealing a stranger’s credit card number. If you have the time to devote to doing so though, how about devoting that time to a REAL job?

If I were you, I think I’d rather flip burgers at Wendy’s then stand in line at the state penitentiary to receive a chunk of beaver meat smothered in motor oil gravy with a bunch of dudes who can’t wait to kick your butt in the courtyard during recess outdoor time.

Anywho, that’s just my two cents. You spent more than two cents on my credit card though. $33.45 to be exact on Amazon.com. You bought me this junk item. And you were dumb enough to buy it and ship it to the one you robbed instead of sending it to yourself. Bravo, super smarty pants.

I spent 45 minutes at the bank yesterday canceling my account, sorting things out, answering security questions about what my DOB was, my social security number, how many pairs of jeans I owned and if I preferred corny dogs or hot dogs. Yeah, thanks to peeps like you, the rest of us have to jump through hoops to prove who we are. A drivers license is no longer good enough ’cause you are now making fake ID’s in the backyard of your friend Bob’s house.

Anyhow, no hard feelings loser sweetheart, but I hope you realize what you’re doing is wrong. There is such a thing as right choices in this world, have you ever considered making them? If not, maybe now’s the time. You stink at being a thief.

Next time remember, your billing address and shipping address should be DIFFERENT when you steal someone’s credit card. Just an FBI FYI about that…

I hope you drop your Kindle Fire and it breaks. Ya know, ’cause I have your new cover and all. Send me your address. I’ll mail it to you as soon as you send me a check for the full amount you stole from me.

Good Riddance, Go Away, Thanks,


4 thoughts on “A Love Letter To My Credit Card Thief”

    1. I know, right? Was fun writing the blog post though. That was the ONLY fun part. If only he would have bought me the Kindle Fire to go with it…then maybe I would be less miffed. LOL! 😉

  1. Aww, that really sucks. D= I don’t know what possesses people to do this kind of thing; no consideration whatsoever for the circumstances of the person on the other end of the credit card. Good thing you managed to cancel your account before they made any more expensive purchases.

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