Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

My Children’s Laundry…And A Thong

‘Tis the story of laundry day and the mishap that left this mother mortified, red faced and rightly embarrassed. Completely true and worthy of a blog post…sheesh, don’t you guys know I write about everything?!

So my 11 year old twin boys and my 8 year son do their own laundry. We homeschool, which means we pitch in. There is no task too big or too small to tackle. This is includes unloading the dishwasher, picking up dog poo in the back yard with plastic baggies that smell like lilacs…which gives off a lovely scent of cheap air freshener and a dirty diaper once left to rot in the trashcan. It’s a wonderful smell to step into on a hot afternoon in the garage. NOT! Closing the garbage lid tight with duct tape to keep the smell from wafting doesn’t work. Thank you for thinking of me though…

Every laundry day my youngest and I have this same conversation (aka Mama’s Boy, aka Mr. Dramatic, aka Mr. Full of Excuses):

Little A ~ “I don’t need to wash my clothes today Mommy. Tomorrow.”

Me ~ “No, it is Wednesday…which is laundry day. You will wash them, dry them and put them away.”

Little A ~ HUGE sigh, “I can’t bring the basket downstairs. I just CAAANNN’TTT.”

Me ~ “Don’t tell me your arms are broken, Little A. If you can play Nintendo DS you can bring your laundry downstairs. Shoo! Off you go…”

Little A ~ “Work is SOOOO hard! Do I get an extra dollar for getting the basket NOW?”

Me ~ “No. You get to live here. You eat my food and you spend my money. You’ve given me gray hair that now costs $150 every 6 weeks to cover. It’s not time for your yearly review yet. We are not giving raises or bonuses here at the King household. Thank you for asking though.”

Little A ~ “I LOVE you Mommy.”

Me ~ “I love you too, little booger. Now about that laundry basket… {eyebrows raised}

So this past Wednesday, my twins wash their clothes first, thus they dry and fold first. While in the kitchen making lunch I hear chuckling and quiet, hushed conversation. This usually means a plan to scare their younger brother or a booby trap is being set to scare the dog.

That’s when I hear Big A’s voice ring out…”Moooommm…what is THIS underware? And, why aren’t we wearing it? Is it new?”

I glance over at the skimpy-only-wear-on-the-weekends red thong that my 11 year old, who’s hitting puberty (which makes me INTENSELY sad) son is now waving in the air.

Middle A ~ “They are MISSING the back piece. Mommy, you NEED to take these back! You don’t want your rear hanging out.”

OH MY GOSH….The runaway panties must have been stuck on the wall of the washer. Instead of ending up in MY next load of laundry, they show up in my kids laundry. You’ve had this happen before, I know it! That missing sock…only to show up in the next load of laundry. It’s like a clothing mini-vacation. Annoying as heck…

Epic fail…so the conversation falls to “those are mine”, they are meant to look like that and this is the last time we discuss girly underpants.

Then I concluded laundry day with a large bag of M&M’s and a Dr.Pepper while watching YouTube videos about singing cats.

Scary Mommy ~


4 thoughts on “My Children’s Laundry…And A Thong”

    1. Lisa,
      It was just one of those “mom moments”. Something I’ll never forget! My children make me laugh…and I love remembering the little things like this. I’ll treasure them always. Even if it does involve a story about a red thong. LOL!

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