Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

Spray Paint And An ID

It’s summer. Which means swimming and entertaining guests outdoors. Which leads me to the rusted pool furniture I have. I would hate for my guests to contract Tetanus from my trashy chairs. So instead of spending hundreds of dollars on new outdoor furniture, I decided a couple of spray cans of $5 paint would save me another year or two.

I loaded up my children and took them to Walmart. This is always a lovely place to visit with kids, no matter their age. You can never walk out of there spending less than a $100 when you went in originally for a for a $1 box of mexican rice. There must be something in the air at Walmart. A drug that makes you buy junk that you don’t need. Like a dog leash with a built in light. You never know when you might need to walk your dog at 2am, ya know….

We proceed to the “20 items or less” check out, only to get behind someone who failed (or ignored) such sign that is now slowly unloading their 75 items. And getting their checkbook out…shoot me now….

I place my cans of spray paint on the counter, along with a pack of gum, some water guns, an XBOX game and a bottle of mouthwash. Randomness…welcome to Walmart.

As the kind woman behind the register swipes the first can of paint, the beep sounds. You know, the beep that sounds when you buy alcohol. Except, it now beeps when you buy paint. Because apparently people “huff” it or something. Because we all know how cool that is (not…don’t you ever do it, ya hear!!!). Who wants to smell that stuff? Good gravy, it smells awful!

Anywho, the beep sounds, the eyes rise and the “Can I see your ID please?” is spoken.

Me ~ “Seriously?!”

Cashier ~ “Yes. Please.”

I take out my ID and hand it to her.

Cashier ~ “Seriously?!”

Me ~ “Yes.”

Cashier ~ “You’re 30-something?!”

Me ~ “Yes.”

Cashier ~ “Well, apparently you’re doing something right! What’s your secret?”

Me ~ “To what?”

Cashier ~”To looking SO young!”

Me ~ “Painting? I’m kidding. I don’t know, but thanks for asking.”

A little old lady pulls her cart up behind us and eyes me cautiously.

Little Old Lady ~ “Oh sweetie, you look like you’re 18! Are these your brothers?”

Me ~ “No. These are my sons.”

Little Old Lady ~ “Well, what handsome, well behaved boys they are! No wonder you look so YOUNG! Good golly, you’re lucky!”

Me (now blushing) ~ “Thanks! Gosh, can I buy you ladies a drink? Or do you need to see an ID for that too?”

Talk about making a woman’s day!

By the way, my outdoor tables and chairs look lovely.

The Super Fun Young One~


4 thoughts on “Spray Paint And An ID”

  1. Now the important question oh young one… What color did you go for? I want to be mistaken for a superhero… I don’t care to be young… I just want to look like I can crush someone with my thoughts!

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