Fifty Shades…Of the One You Already Love

The hype is out there. Whether you have read it or not, you’ve heard of this bored housewife’s woman’s novel. It’s plastered everywhere. Even on the back of a car window I saw in the Walmart parking lot today. “Laters Baby” Apparently this is a repetitive line in the book trilogy. Whatev’s Baby….

So I’ve decided to write my own 50 Shades…about the man I already love and have loved for over 15 years. I don’t need “50 Shades” to teach me how to love or be loved as a woman. Love who you’re with…aren’t they enough? And if you don’t have someone special in your life, hold on tightly and live patiently. We all have a soulmate. Life happens…but not in our timing. That’s the JOY of life! Traveling the road of life brings forth new beginnings, new loves and new opportunities.

1) Respect…yourself and the one you’re with even when you don’t see eye to eye. We are human after all you know. We can’t and won’t always agree, but that’s what growing is all about. We never stop growing or learning in a lifetime.

2) Contracts…the only one I need, personally, is in the form of a marriage license.

3) Grey eyes…I’ll take baby blues, thank you!

4) Devotion…I saw this in the face of my now husband when my uncle passed away just months into our dating relationship. Dropping everything at a moment’s notice to be beside the one you’ve fallen for, while pushing your current needs aside…spells devotion that will last and be remembered for a lifetime.

5) Laughter…If you can make each other laugh, you’ve got the best ingredient for a lasting relationship. Whether you are laughing about the woman who wore her bikini top to Walmart to buy a block of cheese or laughing at the booger hanging out of the car salesman’s nose, you get each other. End of story!

6) Vacations…At home watching “Breaking Bad” while eating a fattening Dorito’s Taco from Taco Bell or lying on the white sandy beaches of Destin, Florida…they are one in the same, because you’re together. And that’s all that matters.

7) Shaving…Skip a day or two and nobody cares ’cause you’re still you. And you’re awesome…and they know it.

8) Cooking…A peck on the cheek while making dinner whether it’s spaghetti or a bowl of cereal, reiterates you are loved…and so are they. It’s not what’s on the table, it’s what’s in your heart.

9) Clothes…You are smokin’ hot and so are they, whether they are doning a pair of sweats or a Prada suit. Clothing doesn’t make a person, but it why not “suit up!” as Barney Stinson says, for a spectacular date night every once in a while? Keep the sizzle no matter how long you’ve been together.

10) Always…Say I love you. You never know when, where or how that might change. Remember, life is full of uncertainties…as hard as that is to swallow.

11) Adoration…Tell them you adore them, even if you sound cheesy. All the time…but don’t do it while eating a piece of cheese, that’s just weird…

12) Cry…When you need to. We all do at one time or another. You have a shoulder in front of you, use it. Lend yours to them when needed as well. Relationships are a two way street…remember that.

13) Trust…You got it? Awesome! You don’t…take a step back and work things out. No trust = a rocky relationship headed for disaster.

14) Movies…Foreign, Comedy, Drama…what? My husband loves fast-paced cop shows with fast cars and lots of vile characters. I love romantic comedies. We delegate. He suffers through “When Harry Met Sally” and I suffer through “The Fast And The Furious”. Everyone wins…even if we roll our eyes the whole way through! LOL!

15) Holding Hands…It never gets old. Ever. Amen.

16) PDA…Yeah, so? God gave us lips and hands, so I have no problem with people knowing I’m totally in love with my better half. In a respectable way, but I still show it. Often. Do you?

17) Dilemmas…We work it out. Together. Away from the kids. We are two totally different people, but we have one goal in mind. Working things out together.

18) Hearts…He has mine and I have his. Completely. Not just a piece of it, all of it. Isn’t that the way love is supposed to be?

19) Work…Relationships need it, and have to have it. There never comes a time where you don’t have to have it. You change, they change, life changes…Working together keeps the crevices sealed for an eternity.

20) Patience…I have a world of it, my husband has a grain of sand’s worth. That’s why we fit. Perfectly. Because we know how to share it.

21) Hurt…We all hurt one another. Whether intentionally or by accident. Knowing when you’ve done so, means taking the initiative to make it right. And if you’ve been hurt by another, tell them. Gently, but firmly. Don’t hide in hurt, learn from it. Together.

22) Forgiveness…You are not too wealthy, too wise or too manly to show it. You owe forgiveness? Give it. If you don’t, not only are you tearing a relationship apart, your ruining yourself from the inside out. And it can be ugly. Real ugly.

23) Time…We are given a short stay here on earth. Spend it wisely, and always live like today is your last. Treasure the moments given to you and your better half. Memories are worth more than gold. Way more…

24) Worth…How much does he/she mean to you? More than the world? Then you’re set. For life. Now how about your love? How much do you mean to them? If you don’t know, ask. If you do know and it’s sincere, you’re blessed. If you know and it hasn’t been validated, run…Remember #23.

25) Perfection…Doesn’t exist in a relationship. If you expect it, then you haven’t lived through turbulence yet, but you will. If you show battle scars, then you are acclimated to know, “wounds” shape us and make us who we are. And that’s much more beautiful then perfection.

26-50) Love the one you’ve been given, and let them love you back for a lifetime even when you don’t feel lovable. Give them 25 more personal, deep reasons why you need them, cherish them, crave them, want them…and have them reciprocate.

We all have “grey” areas in our life that we aren’t proud of, and that’s okay. Because 50 Shades of imperfection mirror your inner, raw beauty to the one you’ve been given. The beauty of being REAL. And there is nothing more beautiful then being YOU.

Love & 50 Hugs ~

VSK

Comments

  1. Awesome post! We need to be content with the spouse that we have and not constantly long for things that we don’t. Thanks for writing a post that will help women work on the marriages that they have.

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