What It’s Like To Punch A Credit Card Representative

operator

I’ve developed a low tolerance for people lately. Perhaps my standards are just too high, or I’ve been eating too much Halloween candy out of my 9 year old’s bag when he isn’t looking. This could also have something to do with the individuals who tested my patience last week. (See last week’s post!)

So my husband has a cracked credit card. Perhaps it’s related to his back injury, and the Hunchback of Notre Dame lean he’s had for the past two weeks. Plastic can only tolerate so much “leaning”. Whatever the reason, I told him I’d order a new credit card for him. I’m a great credit card orderer after today. Let me know if you need my services. I’m quite costly though…

Rep: “Thank you for calling **** today. Can I have your first and last name?”

Me: “Sure. Valerie King.”

Rep: “And how are you today, Voldemort?” Did she just call me Voldemort?! Alright, I’ll roll with it…

Me: “I’m fine, thanks. You?”

Rep: Looonnnggg sigh “I’ve been better. I have a cold, and I have a sick baby at home.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Rep: “Yeah, me too, Voldemort. My mind is a little foggy today. Took some NyQuil.” Do you mean DayQuil? Oh geez, this is going to be a stellar conversation…

Me: “Okay. Well, um, hope you feel better.”

Rep: MONSTROUS Sneeze “Wow, that came out of nowhere. What’s your social security number?” Do I give this to her in her condition?

Rep: “How can I help you today, Voldemort?” Blowing nose

Me: “Well, I need to order a new credit card for my husband. His is split down the middle, and needs a new one. Can you send one out please?”

Rep: “Oooohhh, well no, I’m sorry. You’re not the primary on the account. So, your husband will need to call in and say he needs a new one, unless he’s there so I can speak with him.”

Me: “We are married with a joint account. We have the same credit card number, and pay the bill as a couple. Why can’t you just send out a new card?”

Rep: “Well, I’m sorry Voldemort, but although you are his wife, he has to request a new card. Company policy. A spouse can’t ask for a new card replacement for their husband or wife.”

Me: Seriously? I’m not asking for a kidney, I’m asking for a new card! “Really, well that’s an interesting policy I’ve never heard of before.”

Rep: Coughing “It is kind of a weird policy, but I have to follow it or I could risk losing my job. We all know we need our jobs these days! I’m sure you understand since your husband is primary on the account.”

Alright smarta$*, he may go to work, but so do I. I homeschool my kids, I’m a Social Media Director for a large corporation, I write books, I clean toilets, and I wipe snotty noses aside from yours. You wanna play, credit card rep in Rhode Island?! Well then, let’s play….

Me: “Can we request a new card online through your website?”

Rep: “Oh yes, YOUR HUSBAND, can request a new card online.”

Me: Laughing “Perfect. I’ll just log into our account online…here we go…with my husband’s user name and password to request the card then. Done and done! You’ve been a big help. I’ll let my HUSBAND know that I’ve ordered HIS new card.”

Rep: “Well….Is there anything else I can help you with Voldemort?” Cough, cough

Me: “I’m not sure ‘helping’ is the right word, but I hope you feel better soon. I need to get back to work. I have a very busy job. We all know we need our jobs these days!”

keep-calm-and-stupefy-10

This also goes along with the woman talking on her cellphone, windows rolled down, driving 45mph when she suddenly decides she needs to throw out the contents of her full plastic cup that consists of water and large ice cubes. What possesses someone to think, “Geez, this water is bugging the he!! out of me, so I better throw it out before it grows arms and strangles me while I jabber on about glue sticks to Sarah!”

It lands on my $16.99 carwash that I had just gotten several hours earlier. If only I would have had a wand…..IF ONLY.

Caution-This-Sign-Has-Sharp-Edges

Now where is that bag of Skittles I stole out of Little A’s bag earlier….

Patient, but Intolerable At Times ~

VSK

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