Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

9/11…Through The Eyes of My Child

 

There’s a lump in my throat…there has been all day as I read the countless Facebook, blog and Twitter posts remembering those lost on September 11th, 2001.

My children and I had homeschool history class this morning. A wonderful history class by an incredible woman, friend, teacher…and a child of 9/11. A woman who lost her father on Flight 77 eleven years ago today.

When I saw her today, the pin she was wearing caught my eye first thing. I know how hard this day is for her, and as a friend, I let the moment cease of saying “I’m sorry.” I can sense the pain of what an act of evil terror took from her life, but it’s not my place to offer condolences. Sorry doesn’t stop the pain or fight the infection of loss. My friendship is my gift. A gift that is given freely to her daily, and she knows that. I can’t “feel” what she feels, but I can cover her with grace the best I know how. Sometimes loss doesn’t need an “I’m sorry”…it needs a reason to go forward in life.

As I sat in class with my children and her son, I watched my youngest child who is only 8, open his notebook to take notes. As he wrote the date, he proceeded to write “remember”. My sweet little one wasn’t here when 9/11 occurred, but he has been taught what the face of evil looks like. He knows today is September 11th…and he knows what that means.

As we drove to class, beautiful American flags waved in the cool breeze here in North Texas this morning. My little one, nose pressed to the car window, watched them with wonder.

“Mommy, are these flags out to remember today?”

I smiled at his question. “Yes sweetheart, we must always remember.”

REMEMBER

What a powerful word that is! I saw it in the 8 year old handwriting of my son this morning. And as my dear, loving friend taught us about Gilgamesh, what an empire is, and how kings ruled thousands of years ago, I watched my son write those words on his paper.

I remember where I was eleven years ago today. A new, exhausted mother with 14 month old twins, jumping into the shower for ten minutes of peace as they played with Thomas the Tank Engine. When I drew the towel around me, dark circles under my eyes from little sleep, I heard Katie Couric’s voice announce to the world where evil had bled. As I pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt, I lept towards my sons, taking them in my arms as they ate a bowl of Cheerios in my lap, my ear pressed to the receiver of the phone as I spoke to my husband at work. I begged for him to come home, afraid of where life was moving, raging thoughts of loss in my mind.

I have seen countless stories and recollections of where others were 11 years ago. This is mine.

As I think of today, the lives that were lost, this beautiful country that was violently attacked and the families forever changed…I think of my son. The word that he wrote today, I vow to always remember. Just like he does now.

Give Grace ~

VSK

Read my amazing friend, Susan Van Volkenburgh’s, book, “Silent Resolve and the God Who Let Me Down”. It’s her 10 year journey of losing her father on 9/11, and how she found peace with God. Amazing….amzn.to/Qbiae4

Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

When Words Speak Grace Amongst Us

I look at these pictures and reflect on the uncertainty and undeniable frightening feeling my husband and I felt when our twin boys arrived two and a half months early in 2000. I was overwhelmed with the new love of motherhood…but I was scared for the lives of my children who were struggling to survive.

When you are faced with the possibility of losing a child, your heart breaks and your spirit deflates into a puddle of hopelessness. My son Alex had a less than 1% chance for survival due to a rare intestinal disease called NEC. I begged the Lord to save my son, but I also prepared myself for letting go.

By God’s grace and His grace alone, he along with his twin brother, are happy, healthy handsome eleven year olds today. This mama’s heart is full…of grace.

I read a story today. A story about the life of an angel who has been diagnosed with a very rare disease called SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy). A life that will eventually be given back to the very One who created her. I have read many emotional, chest-clutching stories in my life…but for some reason, this little girl has touched my heart…with profound grace.

From her blog Avery’s Bucket List

SMA is the #1 genetic killer of infants & children under the age of 2, yet most people have never heard of it, most OB/GYN’s do not offer tests for it, and it’s not included when performing genetic pre-screening tests for other potential diseases & disorders.  There is currently no cure and it attacks the muscles which causes inefficiency of the major bodily organs – especially of the respiratory system – and eventually leads to death.  1 in 40 people are carriers of the SMA gene.  Meaning my mommy and daddy had a 1 in 1600 chance of both having it and even then there was only a 1 in 6400 chance I would get it.

This is Avery Lynn Canahuati…isn’t she a doll! Please visit her blog to read more about her story.

I am a mother…a wife…an author…a social media guru…a friend…a daughter…God’s child…a believer that nothing is impossible, for all things are possible.

What we face, what we are given in life is always placed within our lives with purpose. It is not always what we want, what we need…many times it is what we fear that burdens our shoulders.

My sons’ very best friend was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. A child that was sweet, loving and innocent…he was handed a burden that his body was unwilling to carry. Only a few short months after being diagnosed with Leukemia, he left us quietly. Anger washed over many of us. Why would a child be taken from the arms of his/her mother so young? What did they do to deserve what they were given?

Nothing. Tomorrow is not promised…it is given. It is a gift, a treasure that should never be treated lightly. For life is an uncertain road no matter your age. That is why I love what Avery’s parent’s are doing for her. A bucket list of memories to make before their daughter is quietly taken home.

No matter how young or how old or what the circumstances may be, treasure life and more importantly…speak grace. Always. For grace is what gives us life.

Blessings ~

VSK