Random Thoughts From An Avid Author, Uncategorized

NOWHERE is somewhere

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That moment in time when a book changes your life…

It’s kind of liberating to step forth and proclaim the realization that literature can truly leave a mark on your being in a way you never thought possible. Before I step too far into this puzzling pool of wonder, let me elaborate a bit on how this came to be.

Books of all shapes and sizes have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Even as a young child, they meant a great deal to me.

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I never read because I had to, I read because I needed to. My strength is bound in the power of words.

For as long as I can remember, novels were always my bounty, my hiding place, because I live inside my mind more than I could ever explain. When I read books, I see them vividly in torrents of color without boundaries. I read to “see”. When I write, it is the exact same way. I’m not one to map out or diagram a novel before diving into it headfirst. Instead, I take a simple idea and work forward as I watch each scene, from the curve of a character’s face, to the color, type and wonder of each bounty that surrounds them from all sides, unfolds. As they step forward, so do I. I’ve found over the years that most authors don’t write like this.

Many of us live internally in our own world of wonder. And that eclectic world of magnificence is embedded deep within our visual thoughts.

Recently a wonderful friend of mine sent me a book. One she said her son had recommended to her, and after she read it, her perspective on life changed. She wanted to share the same sense of power with me to see what I thought, and how I felt after reading it. I devoured it in a day, curled up in my home office, away from family for a few hours as I let it seep into me. I walked away with new eyes, and the ever growing urge and prompting to learn to find NOWHERE and visit it often.

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Finding the corridor of peace in the state of NOWHERE is hard for me. I am a busy, highly devoted wife and mother, and my days begin with a rushed feeling, and end with that same feeling as well. Raising three boys is demanding…raising kids in general is a 24 hour responsibility, yet my kids reside here at home with me all day, every day. We homeschool. Homeschooling is a calling. I felt called 5 years ago. I still feel that calling, and so do my husband and kids. But it doesn’t go without saying, that I do neglect things. And the biggest thing I neglect is myself. Not out of purpose, but out of performance.

Social media is my life. It’s what I do for a living, literally. I own my own social media company. My phone is glued to my hand, my tablet is sitting on my lap, or my computer resides in front of me all day, every day. It’s how I’ve learned to exist, to make a living, but all the while, I’ve forgotten what it meant to simply live, to just be, to find the comfort of NOWHERE.

In the past year, my life has changed dramatically in a number of ways. From health issues to relationship woes, to a finished novel and several new clients, yet somehow instead of meditating on how to cope and change with the ebb and flow of life, I’ve fled to filling up my schedule instead of filling up my often neglected spirit. I fled from NOWHERE to somewhere.

When I speak of NOWHERE, it means something much greater than the seven letters it’s composed of. It doesn’t mean staying put, it means putting down. And by putting down, I mean stepping away from the highway of life that moves at lightening speed every now and then. To exist. To be still. TO BE.

My middle child, who is 14, lives within his mind too. Just like his mom. I handed him the book when I was finished and gently said, “Read this. Today. Not tomorrow, not next week, today.” He took the book from my hands and instantly knew what I was saying. I found him a half an hour later, laid up in the corner of our living room with our dog in his lap, fully engulfed in the very same journey I had just taken a few hours before.

I’ve got a very in-tune connection with all of my kids, but my middle and I share a deep level of understanding that is often hard to explain to others. When he was three, he was diagnosed with high spectrum autism, often labeled as Asperger’s. He is wise beyond his years, and always has been. He still struggles in some areas, particularly with social skills, but I honestly think the culprit is the expansive mind he encumbers. There are times he trumps me in how he peels back the layers of a book, a song, or a simple sentence. He sees the core of things much deeper then most of us. I knew this book would speak to him in even bigger ways then how it spoke to me. I was right.

He finished. We talked. He uncovered the meat of the book in a few simple sentences, yet in a profoundly unbelievable way far beyond that of most teenagers, and I quote, “Speed is addictive. I’m not talking about drugs in this context, I’m talking about the need to embrace the empowerment it lends us in today’s society. When we slow down, we suffer from withdrawal and a sense of pain. When we are not a part of the structural highway of fast paced life, we find ourselves lost, and many of us, unaccepted. I think the real problem here is, we’ve learned to only accept ourselves when we are headed somewhere; a pinpoint. To say you’re going NOWHERE sounds superficial. Like you’re a loser. When, after reading this book, NOWHERE is where each of us should strive to be.”

I think my son summed things up better then I ever could. And more importantly, we’ve both walked away with a sense of searching for NOWHERE instead of somewhere. In the deepest crevices of NOWHERE, you find yourself, and the art of simply living.

Changes are being made over here. I’ve yearned for NOWHERE for way too long, and just never knew it. Or better yet, maybe I didn’t want to know it until now. I’m no longer pushing it aside, but embracing it instead. You should too.

~ VSK

Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

The In Between

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There are defined points on my timeline that have molded my spirit. Those stinging pinpricks that have changed the way I interpret life as it glides past me with deep definition.

When I became a wife…a mother…a devoted writer…those points are elevated and celebrated often.

But there have been distinct times that have gouged a piece of my heart out, leaving it to heal on its own…pulling me downward instead of up. Days that I know I’ll always remember, but that I have a hard time swallowing. The hard times that have made me stronger, but that have given me defining scars even though they are invisible to most of you.

Today is one of those days that changed my course of life in one swift movement. A child who would have turned 14 today, he isn’t here, but I feel him move. To some that may seem strange, but if you’ve ever lost an important person in your life, someone you truly loved, whether through death, a parting of ways, or any other measure of separation, I know you understand what it feels like.

My twins were born 2 1/2 months too early. At only 3 pounds each, my husband could slip his wedding band over their forearm. I had no idea that 15 days after their birth, a lifelong friend, a brother they didn’t yet know, made his entrance into the world as well. It wasn’t until 4 years later that our paths crossed. The smiling faces of the Pacocha family standing on the front porch of our new house. Strangers we didn’t know, but immediately grew attached too, especially when our boys connected over Thomas the Tank Engine, Star Wars lightsabers, and Nerf gun wars. Friendship was instantaneous for all of us.

With birthdays so close together, July 1st for my twins and July 15th for Andrew, we shared a number of neighborhood birthday parties. Andrew was the adopted triplet to Alex and Austen. It was natural, that amazing bond that they had, it stuck. Fate intertwined the life of our family with theirs.

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Years later, in late 2010, I slid to the floor, laundry basket in hand as I listened to the voice of Andrew’s mom whisper the words “Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia” on the other end of the phone. When cancer slithers into your life, it steals the breath from your lungs. Even if it hasn’t compressed your body, it still kills the joy when you know it resides in someone you love. Andrew was and still is, like a son to me. Even though he isn’t here physically, he still resides within the in between. At one point, I could wrap my arms around him. Now I can’t. And even though he’s left arms empty, he hasn’t disappeared from the memories I have of him. There are so many lives that have been changed because of the life he lived.

Cancer sucks. I despise the evil it instills into the world on a daily basis. The way it destroys things, in body, in mind, and in the cosmos of loved ones watching it take over like a ravenous beast through the eyes of someone they know.

My kids are quiet today. It’s hard not to be humbled when you know someone important is missing. Andrew is missing, and it isn’t fair. It will never be fair. But life isn’t fair. It isn’t meant to be.

So instead of cowering in the emptiness we feel, we relish the time that we had with him. My kids have defined points on their timeline too. The moment we lost Andrew, when he slipped away from us, that pinprick stings red hot for them today. I see it. A mother just knows when her kids are hurting. I can’t ease the burn, but I can remind them that the peaks and valleys of life don’t define us. They shape us.

To Andrew John. Your light lingers. You left your mark on all of us, but especially Alex and Austen. When the sun sets tonight, and the magnificent sky blazes orange, I know that is your sign to let us all know you’ve never truly left. And you never will.

~ VSK

Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

When You Know You’re Too Old For Theme Parks

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We’ve been in Florida since last Thursday the 1st. The first half of our vacation involved the beach. The second half involves Universal Studios.

We have three more days at the park.

I may die.

My feet hurt, and my back is tweaked on the right side from riding “The Mummy” roller coaster at least half a dozen times in two days because my children love it. To the point that it has gotten annoying. But they don’t want to ride alone, so my husband and I continue riding like two handicapped parents with a hitch in their get-along. I’ve also memorized the entire script of the ride, word for word. This is the only thing that keeps me entertained.

We have been the only Americans in the theme park. I’m quite certain I know how to speak Portuguese, French and Italian fluently now, thanks to long wait times in line. Take that, Rosetta Stone!

I will NEVER get tired of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in the park. NEVER. I could just sit and listen to the music while drinking Butterbeer. It’s easy to get lost here. Not just in the magic of being a part of Potterland, but actually LOST. There have been so many people in this part of the park it’s redonk. This is also the part of the park where you realize you are some of the few Americans present. This is due to the hairy armpit women, and men without deodorant. Pleasant. Pleasant, I tell you.

Yesterday we were waiting in line for “Harry Potter and The Forbidden Journey”. This is an incredible ride that takes place inside Hogwarts. AWESOME. Anyhow, since there are 5 of us, we are always one short or one too many for a ride, which means we have to split up. Hubby and the older two went together, and I went with Little A.

I am a moron magnet. Convinced. There were two older gentlemen in front of Little A and I. One was guzzling…not sipping…a very LARGE beer. His five steps forward and then stopping for a selfie photo in front of various sights as we walked to the ride entrance grew very annoying. Very quickly. We reached the front of the line finally. He decided to stop and answer a text message. Yes, a text. I bit my tongue in front of my child…momentarily.

“Let’s move along!” I said aloud.

He started walking and replied very loudly, “God, I’m texting!” AG&SJ#*S) <—–That’s the words going through my mind. The filtered version.

This will be a fun ride. Little A and I end up in the same car with the two guys. The intoxicated moron pulls out his phone as soon as he is out of the sight of the employees to tape the ride. Or update his Facebook. Or take another ugly selfie. Or call the President. Or throw it at Harry Potter…

The ride stops. I hear the lady say they are experiencing technical difficulties. Moron #1 & #2 didn’t hear her. So I decided to play my cards.

“Uh, you need to put your phone away. You can’t have it out on the ride. That’s why they stopped it.”

He looks at me, wide eyed and dumbfounded as he fumbles with his phone, trying to stuff it back into his pocket, his big meaty claw hands trying to hide the iPhone I called him out on.

The ride starts. I laugh on the inside. I’m not a mean person. But I don’t care for individuals who think the world revolves around them. I don’t think he enjoyed the rest of his ride much. I’m sure he took a selfie and texted his buddy Bob afterwards to let him know all about it. I feel sorry for Bob.

My youngest has had diarrhea and a runny nose since yesterday morning. He feels fine otherwise. I’m convinced he has what’s called, “Too much vacation”. This disease is a result of getting up at the crack of dawn to get to the theme park before everyone else, eating cr@p in the park, such as $21 buckets of stale popcorn in Jurassic Park because the popcorn comes in a plastic dinosaur head that we NEED to take home, and touching cr@p in the park that has been touched by thousands of people. <—- The thought of this kind of makes me nauseous. I may become a germaphobe before we leave here…

Riding a scooter while drinking a coke the size of a small child, Laffy Taffy and cigarettes in your front basket along with park brochures, and a full size bag of Lay’s potato chips in your hands does make me question your motives as to why you are riding in a scooter in the first place…I don’t believe “handicapped” plays into the reasoning…Just a guess…This includes the 3 other individuals riding along side you doing the same thing. Except the guy with the nachos who is steering with one hand, might prove me otherwise…

Overall, we’ve had a blast. So many memories. SO MANY. We’ve re-discovered each other as a family this past week. It has been amazing.

Only a few more days until we head home. I miss my bed. I miss my dog. I miss my coffee maker. But I have to admit, I hate the thought of leaving. Honestly.

Signing off. It’s time to head to the pool for a while. I also enjoy the strawberry daiquiris here at the hotel. They are $11.95 each, but, you know…It’s vacation. And I’m exhausted. But I’m grateful beyond belief for this little life of mine.

Stopping to to take snapshots of your life is so important. My camera lens is overflowing this week…

I love daiquiris and pool towels ~

VSK

Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

The World Through A Little One’s Eyes ~ An Interview With A 10 Year Old

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Me: So, thanks for letting me interview you today, Little A. Are you ready to answer these tough questions?

Little A: {Rolling eyes} Yes, Mommy. You said I could have a bowl of jellybeans after this though. You promised. Don’t…forget. {Leaning in REALLY close} Sometimes you forgettttt. (Touche’ Little A, Touche’)

Me: So, tell me, what has been the greatest disappointment in your life? Please elaborate.

Little A: {Laughing} Something fake, like a fake disappointment? No wait…I’m a little disappointed the Easter Bunny didn’t bring me Pokemon cards. But, that’s okay. I forgave him already.

Me: A monkey, a ghost and a horse with tap shoes on walks into a movie theatre…who sits down first, and why?

Little A: Whattttt, are you saying?! Well, the monkey because the ghost and horse are too slow, but the monkey is fast. Like, REALLY fast.

Me: What’s your take on the rising gas prices in the US?

Little A: Seriously?! Well, I guess it’s because the world makes dumb rules sometimes. That’s why.

Me: Please spell LACHRYMOSE, and provide me with the definition as well.

Little A: L-a-c-a-m-o-s-e. A wizard’s spell that makes you feel stupid when you shouldn’t feel stupid. You should feel smart, but I don’t, because I can’t spell this word right…

Me: Why do you think Chick-Fil-A misspells the word “chicken” in their TV commercials?

Little A: Because the cows didn’t go to college…

Me: Do you know what it means when someone says, “Don’t toot your own horn, Billy!”

Little A: Does it have to do with passing gas? If so, it means walk away before you pass gas to be polite to others in your realm.

Me: Do you know WHY the dish ran away with spoon after the cow jumped over the moon?

Little A: They ran away together because they loved each other. Silverware has a tendency to do that, or in this case, I think they do…That’s my take. {shrugs shoulders}

Me: So, I know how much you love Imagine Dragons. If you could have dinner with Dan Reynolds, what would you wear, where would you go to eat, and would you hug him or offer him a handshake? I don’t think he believes in cooties…

Little A: I would wear normal clothes, of course. Like shorts, and stuff. We would go to Chick-Fil-A, and I’d give him a handshake. I’d hug him after dessert. I think the time would be right then.

Me: Who’s your favorite? Mom or Dad? Wait…don’t answer that. Your Dad might read this, and it would make him sad…

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Me: Tell me, what is the meaning of life?

Little A: Can I ask Siri this question? No? Well then, life is just life. Live it, and live it good because we only get one.

Me: If Hogwarts was real…and I’m not necessarily saying it isn’t, but it might not be, but we like to believe that it is…what house do you think the Sorting Hat would choose for you and why?

Little A: Ravenclaw because it’s EPIC.

Me: How old do you think you’ll be when you get married? What do you think her name will be?

Little A: I’ll be 92 when I get married. Her name will be…{hanging upside down in the chair out of boredom}…

Me: If you could be invisible for one day, what would you do? It has to be legal, by the way.

Little A: It has to be legal?! Darn it…I would go knock on people’s doors and scare them. Maybe give them chocolate…melted chocolate…

Me: Luggage is to vacation, like tools are to…?

Little A: What? Say it again? Work, I guess. Tools are to work, because I don’t know of anyone who uses tools to play with. You shouldn’t play with tools. Especially if they are Dad’s tools…

 

Mom Love Times A Million ~

VSK

Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

An Open Letter To The Glitch Mob From a Grateful Mother In Dallas

Life has a way of moving at lightening speed. And as it moves, you move with it, leaving you hungover with irreplaceable memories.

In the past week, I have been incredibly humbled by a number of things, including an inbox full of emails and comments from people around the world in regards to my previous blog post, An Open Letter To The Glitch Mob From a Tired Mother in Dallas. Whoa. 168 hours ago I was sitting in my home office drinking coffee, wiping the sleep from my tired eyes, wondering what to fix for lunch…leftover pot roast or boxed macaroni and cheese…leaning more towards the macaroni option, in case you were wondering…when my world became yours.

I went from fuzzy house shoes at home, to black boots in The Glitch Mob’s dressing room at The House of Blues in Dallas in a matter of hours with my oldest son. Rock on, chili dog. Totally.

My left ear had an annoying “buzzing” sound for three days after the concert. Totally worth it! I must have said, “Huh?” a thousand times last week though. I’m going to continue using this tactic when my middle child asks me what’s for dinner each night…

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The Glitch guys are beyond sweet, totally down to earth, and incredibly generous. I have to admit, I wish more bands were like this today.

Fans frame your future.

These guys get it, and they take it to a higher level than I ever expected. That REALLY says something. I genuinely mean that.

I wanted to share a few comments that were sent to me over the past week that did NOT make the “approved” list from fellow #GlitchMom goers. These are ACTUAL questions/comments I received, yes. They deserve an answer, but in a more filtered environment.

1) I want your phone number. – Send me your phone number first, and then I’ll send you mine. Mine starts with, 555-xxxx. Is yours the same?

2) You’re hot. – My husband agrees with you…

3) Have you ever considered asking The Glitch Mob for a PR job? Ask for Donny if you do. I’ll make sure he knows you’ll be in contact. – No, actually… and who’s Donny? I’m guessing it’s not a “Donny” that any of the band members or their staff knows considering the email address this comment was sent from started with, hustlepictures@…Thank you for playing (air quotes) “Donny”…

4) Will you write my collage literature paper for me please? – Do you mean college literature paper? Or, do you want me to make you a collage of literature on a piece of paper? Get back to me on this and we’ll talk…

5) Would you be willing to tell Josh “hello” for me?! – Sure. Hello Josh! <—- Sent from Stephanie in Idaho

6) You’re lame. Not really. You’re awesome! – Thanks! I mean, not really. I like cats…no, birds…fish!…trees…Christmas presents!!!!

If this wasn’t enough, my youngest son’s 10th birthday is today. He is a child with a very giving heart, and one that insisted adamantly that my husband and I didn’t need to buy him a birthday present this year. There was no way we were going to let the dive into double digits pass by without a present.

So, we took his greatest love, Imagine Dragons, and turned it into something he can hold onto forever. This video is something I will cherish for the rest of my life.

 

My middle child…the quiet one. The one with a creative mind like his mother. I owe him. I hope Linkin Park is available for dinner sometime next month. I bet their number starts with 555-xxxx also….I’ll give’m a ring…

Grateful #GlitchMom ~

VSK

Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

An Open Letter To The Glitch Mob From a Tired Mother In Dallas

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@editbeats, @ooah, @boreta ~

The above is how I refer to you three sweet guys. I am an Instagram fanatic, so “@” symbol names are as good as royalty titles. Word.

I use “sweet” loosely since I don’t know any of you personally, but when motherhood hits you in the face everyone becomes “sweetie”, “love”, “sweetheart” and “pookey bear”. Seriously. Just go ask your moms…

I am attending your concert tonight in Dallas at The House of Blues. My oldest son is quite enthralled with your music. Never in a million years did I ever think I’d be telling the ladies at book club, “Yes Beverly, I heard the Elton John concert was incredibly amazing!” (Takes a looonnnnggg sip of wine…) “I am really looking forward to seeing this epic concert on March 24th though. I mean, sheesh,  Elton John is the bomb, but The Glitch Mob, girl you don’t know what music IS until you’ve heard these beats!” <—-I’m sure this sentence just aged me 20 years in your eyes.

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I admit, you are on my repeated playlist on my iPhone. Secondly, I even have a Spotify station dedicated to you. You are quite special to this mother who sings “Beauty of the Unhidden Heart” in the car on the way to Target to buy dog biscuits and hydrating shampoo…

This morning, I told myself I was going to sleep in. Your concert starts at 9pm tonight. Who scheduled this? An 18 year old? I go to bed at 9:30 each night to watch one re-run of Modern Family, and one re-run of Friends. This is my schedule, and I don’t like changing it. Tonight I will be forced to miss my old person motherhood schedule to drive 45 minutes to bring my 13 year old son to see his favorite group ever. When you are a parent, you do crazy things; things you used to do as a teenager. Except instead of binge drinking, you stay out late to take your teen to see The Blades. I don’t know what The Blades are, but I’m guessing it doesn’t have anything to do with a Skintimate commercial…Just a hunch.

There is a trip planned to 7-Eleven to buy a Red Bull before tonight’s venture. The only time I drink these carbonated beverages from Hades is when my husband and I go to Vegas each year. Alone. Without kids. To do things without kids. Like, sleep in late and play The Wizard of Oz slot machine. Because everyone knows that Dorothy’s red shoes means the bonus round is commencing and you might win $20 bucks even though you just wasted $60 WAITING for the bonus round…I’m getting off topic…

It is also Monday. I hate Mondays as it is. Although your concert this evening will make my Monday a little brighter, it is going to cause my Tuesday to stink like spoiled chicken. I am convinced tomorrow night my old person motherhood bedtime will be closer to 7:30, thus forcing me to miss my re-runs. I’m not sure how I feel about this yet. Maybe The Blades will convince me otherwise. We’ll see, sweet ones…

My children and I saw Imagine Dragons last month in Dallas. We also had the pleasure of meeting Nico Vega, and spent a bit of time conversing with Aja Volkman. When my oldest son told her how much he loved her vocals on your new album, her sincere nod and, “Nice. Thank you so much! You’ve got great taste in music, my friend…seriously,” has been the topic of MANY conversations at the dinner table ever since. So much so, I want to tape his mouth shut at times. I’m kidding, not really…(clearing throat)

So, I am already aware that I will probably be the oldest person attending your concert this evening. I am okay with that, I suppose. We’ve been listening to you since before the dawn of time, so it’s only right that we come and experience who you are in person. No, we will not wait for you in the back alley standing around like weirdos, wishing to scream, “Oh My Gaw, it’s The Glitch Mob! Like, you guys are totally freakin’ awesome, here, can you please sign my forehead for me?”, but we will come and support your music.

Because you’re kinda cool… Not “kinda”, you’re cooler than a fat kid in a candy store, let’s keep it real. I will be a zombie tomorrow for you with pupils the size of dinner plates because of the amount of coffee I will inhale, literally, to stay awake. But more importantly, I’ll have a kid who got to experience the explosive encounter of hearing The Glitch Mob live. And for me, that’s enough. Because this is what moms do for their kids. At least, I do. Please don’t forget that I’m missing my old person motherhood bedtime for you though. There is true meaning in this. Dedication and respect, right there. This is incredibly important. I expect The Blades to keep me awake…

P.S. I hope you don’t have any future encounters with noisy refrigerators. They are quite annoying, aren’t they?

T.G.M. (otherwise known as, The Good Mother) –

VSK

 

** FOLLOW-UP**

I am so honored, and so immensely blessed to have received so many comments, posts and emails pertaining to this blog post from all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am truly humbled, amazed, grateful, and genuinely thankful for The Glitch Mob. I owe them the world, and then some. My son and I were so blessed to get to meet the members of the Mob in person before their set this past Monday night in Dallas. They were incredibly sweet, and truly kind in every way possible. A night my son and I will never forget. Ever.

#GlitchMom for life,

Val

GlitchMobMom

Random Thoughts From An Avid Author

Verizon Is Run By Monkeys From Outer Space

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Holy freaking bananas…this week has been utterly 100% ridiculous.

You know the saying, “When it rains, it pours”. I have been drenched to the core this week from all angles.

From strep throat that has overtaken our house, being stranded in the Walgreens parking lot with a dead car battery, incompetent people at Aetna insurance who failed to enter prescription drug coverage for my children despite the $4,000,000 we pay them each month in premiums AS A FAMILY, and Verizon FIOS….Oh Verizon FIOS…

As a busy wife, working mom and homeschooling aficionado, when things happen I need a solution. A remedy to get our family back on track.

1) The disgusting strep bug is now under control thanks to antibiotics and copious amounts of Lysol and Purell.

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2) While standing in line talking to Steven the gum-smacking moron at Walgreens about WHY my antibiotics are not covered by insurance, I found myself fueled with the “I Don’t Have Time For This” energy only mothers know. The energy of trembling hands, fuzzy vision and the sound of blood pumping against your ear drums at an astounding pace as you try and remain cool in front of a slew of sick strangers. The “Your Husband Is At Work, and Doesn’t Have Enough Cash For Bail Money” in his wallet reasoning that you try so hard to grasp onto. I kept my cool, I paid for my antibiotics OUT OF POCKET, and then I bought a Voodoo doll across the street to seek my revenge. No not really. Yes, we’ll say that for now…

3) When I walked out into the parking lot of Walgreens to drive across the street to get my Voodoo doll go home, my car was dead as a doornail. <—- What does that even mean, “Dead as a doornail?” What is a doornail? Moving on…I am standing in the parking lot, hood open, tears in my tired eyes, my husband unavailable as he was in training for a new job position and not answering his phone this ONE time, as I seriously considered hitchhiking to Canada with a total stranger, Voodoo doll purse under my arm. A man pulls up in a pickup truck, sees the ragged mother in faded yoga pants and a nine year old t-shirt with a mustard stain, and asks if I needed help. I obliged, even though my mother told me not to talk to strangers, I’m in a public place and I’m desperate. He finds the problem, grabs his toolbox from the back of his truck, and has my car up and running in less than 5 minutes. Good people still exist in this world.  For that, I am ever so grateful.

4) Aetna insurance never fixed the pharmacy coverage for my kids. At this point, I let it slide after talking to Martha for more than 45 minutes. Even after all that time, she still didn’t fix the issue. Seriously? We change health insurance on Monday. Thank heavens! And the country wonders why our health care industry is in such ruin…Incompetency, plain and simple.

5) Verizon FIOS will forever be on my naughty list. I have informed Santa Claus to NEVER deliver any toys to them from here until eternity. We upgraded our internet speed on Monday, and ever since then, we have been unable to access secure websites (i.e. Capital One, Bank of America, Chase, etc.). After HOURS of tech support, and even a technician visit, we were repeatedly told that our issue was our devices NOT our internet service. I was desperate. Peeved. Sleep-deprived. And my Voodoo doll was already too full of pins head was throbbing. My 13 year old son, who loves computers, researched the issue all morning, created a fix on his own, and our internet has been working beautifully ever since.

My teenager fixed something trained employees couldn’t do at Verizon. I am not one to seek revenge, but Verizon has wasted so much of my time over the past three days that I decided to make one final phone call to explain the issue for the 1,563rd time to a tech support specialist, not mentioning that my son had actually already fixed the problem. I was told by the tech support specialist that there was an outage in my area. An outage that was affecting YouTube, Capital One, Bank of America, and several other websites, and the inability to load secured webpages while using FIOS. In other wards, I was blatantly lied to. WOW.

I am convinced, that in fact, Verizon FIOS is run by monkeys from outer space. And if you don’t believe me, visit your local zoo and ask any Orangoutang or Chimpanzee there. More than likely they have family members working in the Verizon technical support office. I PROMISE. Just ask for “Bob” or “Larry”…

I Hate Verizon ~

VSK